The Other White Stuff

Two weeks ago on a Saturday it snowed for about an hour in Iowa. That was just too much for the Little Man to take so he decided to head south, at least for the winter. While down south, he decided to check out this other whitish stuff that he's heard about but is not too familiar with. Here he is surveying this "warm white stuff". Of course, no survey is complete without a taste test. Turns out it's a little gritty to the taste but otherwise not bad.
And as an added bonus, this new white stuff has walls of water that come chasing after you repeatedly. Little Man wasn't too sure what he thought about billions of gallons of foamy water hunting him down... but he's decided to keep an open mind about it!

Little Boy Heaven

Amongst all the packing, moving and many other changes that took place over the past several days Connor didn't seem to notice, or even care for that matter, until all his dreams came true in the form of a giant yellow truck... Little Man didn't waste any time becoming acquainted with every square inch of his newest best friend.
"Look dad, only one hand. And who even cares if I can see over the wheel or not- I'm bigger than everyone else so they better stay outta my way!!"

" Yep... I was pretty much born to drive!!"

Halloween's A Comin...

For Little Man it seems like Halloween just can't come soon enough. So he decided to throw a little ghastly gross ghoul party to set the tone for the entire month of October. He dressed up as Connorsaurus the most viscious and terrible lizard to ever walk this or any other planet.
The party seemed to be a great success. He was especially pleased when Payne Stewart came back from the dead just to attend his bash, although he seemed to be much smaller than Little Man remembered. Fortunately, Payne Stewart brought along a few friends, Dora the Explora and a very dissatisfied ladybug. You think you know how to party it up, you should see these crazy cats turn it loose!!

Every party has to have a centerpiece so Connor decided to create a life size replica of himself, only with a special Halloween twist. He was so proud of it he named it "Killer, Deranged Mutant Pumpkin Goon". The party-goers spent most of their time trying to bring it to life by having it struck by lightning... only the weather was less than helpful. Hopefully it doesn't come to life and try to attack any one, like the last time he tried something like this.

How would you like this to be the last thing you ever saw. Waaa Haaa Haaa HAAAAA!!!!

It's a........

Don't you hate it when people have something really important to say but instead of just jumping right out and telling you they keep blabbering on and on about things that hardly seem to matter at all. It seems like they don't even care about everybody's time that they're wasting as they go off on these tangents that never go anywhere. And you never know if they're really being serious or if they're just trying to build the suspense higher and higher until weaker minds can't take it any longer and they scream out, "Enough already, just tell me!!"
And then, just when you think they're gonna tell you and after it's been what seems like an eternity of waiting you finally reach the point that you've been eagerly waiting for and the only reason why you've even been talking to them in the first place. And then in that moment when you feel success is imminent and your goal is finally about to be reached- they make a sudden U-turn with their train of thought and keep going on about nothingness for no apparent reason at all.
In completely unrelated news, we had our doctors appointment today (yes, THE doctor's appointment) where you finally get a chance to peek and uncover your surpise (just like peeking on your presents before Christmas). Sure it takes a little bit of the fun out of it, but who wants to be kept waiting in the dark all that time. Anyways, as I was saying, we had an ultrasound done today and we found out that we're having a.........................................................................





BABY!!!! We were so excited to finally have that confirmed, you never know with that whole Area 51 and Roswell, New Mexico stuff going around. But unfortunately Jax wasn't happy enough just that much information so she poked and prodded the poor ultra sound attendant until finally she caved in and went for a little game of peek-a-boo. After this exciting little game we found out that we're having......................................................................................................




a......................................................................................................................................................
GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yep that's right, we are eagerly awaiting the arrival of Cailyn Monique Sheniqua LaToya Matilda Edna Kerbopple Boquisha Bonnie Gertrude Young!!


Connor was so excited he decided to celebrate his new little sister by "borrowing" a cookie.

Homemaking Skills

Recently, Jacque was was bitten by the sewing bug and it caused her to become delirious for 3 full days. While lacking her sanity, she decided to try making a quilt. For three long days she scurried around in the basement, only emerging to de-pressurize her bladder and sometimes to shower. During that time all I heard was the electronic hum of a sewing machine, a few power tools, an elephant, and a few loud thumps quickly followed by some choice words that I shall not repeat. And then finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the ordeal was over and Jacque emerged with her newest creation. Made from titanium fabric with carbon fiber threading, her quilt represents the newest technology available to stay-at-home moms and also doubles as bomb shelter in times of war.
Connor wasn't entirely convinced so he decided to test firsthand the strength and integrity of mommy's latest creation. Sure enough, it not only withstood the highly scientific trample-on-top-of-a-pregnant-lady test, but it passed with flying colors.
After seeing mommy's new creative capabilities and an old Macgyver rerun, Little Man decided to show off some of his own homemaking skills. In this episode he narrowly escapes starving for 3 days (while mom is in the basement battling her new sewing machine) by making loaves of bread out of oversized Lego blocks. Apparently the trick is getting the right mixture of red to yellow blocks... the other colors are just fillers.

The Bump

"Mommy, have you been eating too much... your tummy is big and round like Santa Claus?"

"No, I don't need to join Weight Watchers. That's your little brother or sister in there!"

"You mean I get to be a big brother?!?! Sweet... think of all the cool tricks I'll be able to play.""Wait a minute... how the heck did it get inside there????"

"It snuck inside through my belly button, that's how all babies do it. Look, you have a belly button too!"
"Holy cow! You're right, I do have one too!"
"Having a baby isn't contagious is it??? I better check things out just to make sure!"

Watch Out Bolt

Last summer Usain Bolt astonished the world by breaking the world record in both the 100 and 200 meter dash. As a relatively new sprinter on the track and field scene, his tremendous speed has people asking how fast this guy really is. To the sports world he is considered unbeatable, the fastest person in the world. Or as Little Man says, the fastest person that the world knows about. What Usain Bolt doesn't know is that his super speed has placed an immense target on his back with everyone wanting to get the chance to beat him. Recently, Connor issued a challenge to race Usain Bolt... but so far he has declined the invitation. Little Man says it's because Usain knows he can't hang with the "Great Miniature White Hope". They thought the Titanic was unsinkable- and look how that turned out. In a bid to apply some pressure to Usain and his camp, Connor is now releasing never before seen footage of his sprinting regimen. Normally, he practices outside, but inclement weather forced this session indoors.



Bring it on, Usain. If you DARE!!!!

Farewell To A Friend

It was a sad day when we had to say goodbye to the truck (at least for two of us- Jacque has a heart of stone). This good ol' buddy got us everywhere we needed to be since 2003. Sure, it wasn't fancy, there was never any power steering, for a whole year a door chime would randomly start sounding at freeway speeds, and yes I had to scrape the inside and the outside of the windows all winter long... but this truck had character. And it was a part of the family- well almost (selling family members is kind of illegal, so we had to disown it before we could get rid of it).
It will always be remembered- for the good times and the bad. Like when Jacque tried to borrow it when we were dating and she didn't know how to take the parking brake off so she blocked an entire city street (she was sideways across all the lanes) until she figured it out. Or when we would make midnight trips from Provo to San Diego and not be able to see out the windshield because of all the semi-trucks kicking up dirt and we had no windshield wiper fluid (the reservoir has a hole in it). Or the many curbs Jacque took her no power steering frustrations out on. Or sliding through an icy intersection nearly sideways because the light turned red too darn fast ( I hate it when that happens!). Yes, we have many fond memories of the truck... but alas that is all there is now. Memories.

Little Man was disappointed that he was losing his biggest Matchbox toy so we decided to take him somewhere to cheer him up a little bit.

Nothing like some good ol' John Deere tractors to boost his spirits.

Connor got straight to work inspecting even the finest of details. Experiences like this don't happen everyday (unless you live here of course).

By the end Little Man was back to himself once again. Truck.... what truck???

Tornado Time

Did you know that the National Weather Service made a small but significant change to the way they report weather information? In order to achieve greater consistency they have decided to start naming earthquakes and tornados, just like they name hurricanes (you know- Katrina, Andrew, etc...). They feel that this will help them add a more human touch to the ravages of mother nature.

And speaking of Tornados, we were a little concerned before we moved to Iowa because we were told this area is part of "tornado alley". Well, we've been here for 3 years now and we haven't experienced any tornados yet so we thought we we're gonna escape without any funnel clouds of doom. But then yesterday happened...

We usually watch the news to stay up on the weather but somehow this one snuck up on us. And on top of that, it seems that this tornado managed only to damage the inside of one lowly little house. And as luck would have it- that lowly little house was our house. Have a look. And by some miraculous chance, what name do you think the National Weather Service issued this tornado???

Tornado Connor, of course!

Life's A Toy

Boring old miniature ironing board??? I think not!!

Modern Art

People have got it all wrong these days. How the world can recognize junk like this as art is beyond me. Seriously, the world in general has lost its marbles and wouldn't know quality art if it flew down from the sky and hit people in the head. My dog could do better than this (metaphorically speaking because we don't currently have a dog, but if we did I assure you he would do better. And if he didn't, we'd probably get rid of him)
Art should be something realistic, something that has meaning in your everyday life. For example, Jax made a cake for a baby shower last week and it turned out great. Look at the attention to detail, the flowers around the edges, and the blocks offering a visually stunning 3-D display. And on top of that, it tasted good too. Now that, is art! Imagine how much more fun it'd be to visit a museum where you got to eat everything afterwards instead of just staring at boring old pictures! Am I right, or am I right??

Personally, I don't consider myself much of an artist, but that doesn't mean I can't make a contribution to this world and help make it a better place. Therefore, my artistic legacy is a non-traditional piece I like to call the "Man Sandwich". Here it is below, pictured in all it's glory. 3 full pieces of bread donated themselves to this worthy cause, as well as some home-made strawberry jam and creamy peanut butter. The best part of this exhibit is found in the PB&J to bread ratio. A normal PB&J has a measely 2 slices of bread with one part PB and one part making a 1:1 ratio. But this monster has 3 slices of bread and 2.5 parts PB and 2.5 parts jelly creating an astounding 5:3 ratio with an 66% boost in flavor. Now that's taste-tastic!! Top it off with a frosty mug of ice-cold milk and you are having a great day, my friend!

Not to be overdone, Little Man has also interested himself in the arts. He says he's not ready to create just yet (besides in his diapers, but that's a whole different story) so he's happy just appreciating art right now. When we asked him what his favorite art medium was he immediately ran over without hesitation and grabbed his latest and greatest modern art magazine...

He spends hours everyday pouring over the latest and greatest details coming out of art factories all across the world: Italy, Japan, Germany to name a few. No detail escapes his well-trained eye as he satisfies his thirst for beautiful machines.

So what's his first collector's piece going to be??? The beautiful and stylish, yet sophisticated, Ferrari California. It's a wonderful Italian masterpeice that rivals the Sistine Chapel in it's hisorical importance!!

A Kodak Moment

They say a picture is worth a thousand words.... this one might even be worth 2000!!

Labor Day Thoughts

"You know, I've been thinkin' about this whole Labor Day thing recently. The success of today's working world has been attributed to efforts of labor unions' efforts to implement minimum wage standards, paid vacations, and being able to check Facebook and other social networking sites when the boss isn't looking. It's a wonderful David and Goliath success story of a group of like minded people gathering together to fight against those that would keep them down. Recently it has come to my attention that there are still under priviledged and under represented groups in our society. Yeah, that's right... I'm talking about me!! Did you know that less than 1% of children under 3 years old registered to vote in last year's election?? I know, it's shocking, but just look it up on the internet (preferably with Wikipedia) and you'll see that it's true. Just because we're smaller than everyone else doesn't mean we're any less important. So I've decided to organize to get to the word out and let our voices be heard. Our membership is a little small right now, but our numbers have increased dramatically since we've stop holding meetings during naptime.

I still don't understand why people are trying to keep the Little Man down. We are just as talented as the rest of the world... just look at the balance it takes to pull a maneuver as technical as this.

I know what you're thinking, he's way to small to have chopped down an entire tree and start a fire all by himself. Guess what? Believe it buddy!

Heck, I'm even tall enough to see out the window now!

Sure I'm inexperienced in today's global economy. Sure my resume is only one line long. And sure I like to take baths with a rubber ducky. Let's not focus on what I can't do, but on what I CAN do instead. And I CAN fit an entire banana in my mouth...

... Can you do that???

I rest my case."

The Dark Side

Lately we've been noticing that hints of certain aspects of Connor's personality have started to shine through and he's been showing his true self. After much discussion and paying extra close attention to these subleties we have finally figured him out. Just as every coin has 2 sides, so does our Little Man: Defender of truth and liberty during the day...
...and magical wizard at night!!

This is his "I just casted a spell and turned you into a newt" diabolical grin. Perhaps we should stop reading him Harry Potter bedtime stories.

Check It

I am crazy cat,

you can tell by my grin.

People be comin' to me,

when their life's goin' dim.

I got what it takes,

just ask all the chicks

who be chillin wit' me

and it ain't just for kicks.

When you got it they know,

I can put on a show.

Just ask mom and dad,
I be rollin in the dough.

So watch your back,

and stay outta the way

I'm on the scene now

and ready to play.

MC Hammer, Vanilla,

DMX and the Dre...

Don't wan't a piece of this

cuz I'm here to stay!!

Kids are so impressionable these days. Although, who can blame them with all of the crazy messages being flashed in their faces non stop, day in and day out. Without anyone to guide them and help them decipher a safe pathway to follow its easy for them to fall prey to the alternative themes and ideals being promoted by this modern day world of ours. For example, the other day Connor grabbed the remote and decided to watch "Antiques Roadshow" on PBS. Sure enough, next thing we know he's doing his hair like this and looking up pocket protectors online through Amazon... Later that evening Little Man spent some time watching our neighbors across the street and their 1985 Buick with 20" chrome wheels and a 5000 watt stereo system blasting Busta Rhymes. Of course wouldn't you know Connor started dancing to the music and suddenly he's dressed like this...

Finally, mom stepped in and put a stop to all the madness. With the help of some good ol' fashioned Legos she had Little Man back to himself in no time at all.

THE END

*Note- No children, moms, TV shows or Legos were harmed in the making of this blogpost. All opinions expressed belong solely to Connor and his entourage. All characters are non fictional and any likeness resembling fictional characters and or noisy neighbors across the street are purely intentional and should be regarded as such.*

WT Club

BREAKING NEWS- The following is a public safety announcement to any and all parents out there... This is what happens when you let children become NASCAR fans