Watered Down

Overcome with all the hustle and bustle of the holidays we decided to take some time and go play in the water! Little Man espcially enjoyed the chance to hang with some of his cousins.

But enough chit chat... let's get to the action shots. Look at these pictures carefully and see if you notice any differences between the way mommy plays versus the way daddy plays. The differences are subtle, so pay close attention.

"Now you be careful, and always make sure someone is watching you. And remember no splashing, it's not becoming of little gentleman"

"Look mom, no hands!"

"If you get tired or nauseous then you come to me right away. There's always room on mommy's lap." "Hey, let's see if we can get one of you to do a triple back flip!"

" Watch out for other people's kids... they have germs"

"You'll never take me alive Cop-per!"

" This reminds me of a nice relaxing day at the spa. Maybe we should get our toenails painted afterwards" "He sunk my battleship... everyone run for cover!"

"Hmmm... I wonder what I should have for lunch... a small salad or a slightly medium-sized salad?"

"In your face sucka!"

First Christmas

Hey everyone, guess what...?It's Christmas!!!Check out this present, it's even bigger than I am!!All that wrapping paper for this?!? What a cruel trick.Oh wait, never mind... there was more.
Sweet!!
This is the best Christmas ever!"

Baby Got Back

"Hey everyone, hope your Christmas Season is going well. I have been super-duper busy getting everything ready for the big day. But finally, the stockings are hung, the goodies are baked, the tree and house are decorated, we've watched Elf 3 times, and even gone Christmas caroling... so that only leaves one thing left: I've got to make sure I give a good first impression when I meet the Jolly Red Fat Guy. I've been trying to decide on the best way to do that, without seeming desperate. I want to make sure I get the maximum amount of toys, cause that's what Christmas is all about, right? So anyways, I was thinking of wearing my Candy-Cane striped pants on Christmas Eve, to help me achieve the maximum toy effect. But I do have one concern, perhaps you can help me with...

Do these pants make my butt look fat???"

Gotta Love The Drifters

'Twas The Night B'Fore Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas and all thru the pad,

not a creature was stirring, especially not dad.

The stockings were hung by size on the wall,

with mommy's the biggest and Little Man's quite small.

Connor was sleeping all snug in his crib,

with leftovers from dinner still stuck in his bib.

And mom in her jamies, and dad in his bedroom shoes,

Had just settled down for a long winter's snooze.

When out on the roof there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window and thru the last door,

I stubbed my poor toe from Connor's toys on the floor.

The moon shone brightly on the new fallen snow,

while the cold Davenport wind continued to blow.

I threw open the window (more utilities to pay),

and saw eight reindeer and a shiny red sleigh.

With a fat, jolly man so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.

Faster than a speeding bullet his reindeer they came,

built like 8 Clydesdales, only with antlers and no mane.

"Now Flirty, now Birdy, now Dirty and Nerdy,

On Sturdy, on Turdy, on Wordy and Vinny Testaverde

To the top of the Wal-Mart and onto the mall,

Now dash away, dash away, dash away all!"

Then all of the sudden I heard on the roof,

the banging and clanging of each massive hoof.

I wrinkled my brow, my eyesight got hazy,

and I started to think that I might be crazy.

Down the chimney he came in one large plop,

and knocked o'er his cookies and even the mop.

He was dressed in red velvet from his head to his foot,

Armani, Versace, and not an ounce of soot.

A bag full of toys hung on his back,

and he nibbled his cookies for a good night's snack.

A snowy white beard touched his ample round gut,

he looked like an O-lineman with a huge jolly butt.

"Don't tell Mrs. Claus about these cookies," he mumbled,

"If she catches me again I'm sure to get pummeled.

My cholesterol's 340, my blood pressure 205,

but hey, I'm over 500 and I'm still alive!

She makes me eat carrots, celery and string beans,

Boy, for an old lady she sure can be mean.

But alas, the dawn breaks, my time is soon gone,

besides my reindeer have eaten your lawn.

Remember this evening as a Chrsitmas delight,

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!"

Soon the season will pass, so enjoy all the sights

of presents and family and Christmas tree lights.

Sit back, take a moment and sip on some nog,

And tell all your friends about this holiday blog!

Snow, Snow, Snow, SNOW!!!

"Hey everybody, grab your coats cuz it's snowing outside!!! I've been stuck in the house all day long just waiting my time to have some fun. I just gotta convince mom to let me go. Mom, can I go outside yet???How about now??

OK, How about now??

And then finally redemption came my way...

W00000000000-H00000000000!!!!!!!"

What's Christmas Without a Rabbit Fur Bomber Hat???

"Hmmmmmmmmm... I wonder what the date is today??

Wait a minute, it's already December... That means Christmas is already on it's way!

Uh-oh, I hope Santa doesn't find out about the noodle incident... I promise I had nothing to do with it.
Maybe if I just smile big and give Santa the big googly-eyes then he'll forget about everything else and bring me lots of presents!!"

Turkey-Stravaganza

"We had so much fun for Turkey Day this year. San Diego grandma and grandpa flew all the way out to little ol' Davenport just to hang out. It was grandpa Ron's first time out here so we had to pull out all the stops to show him a good time. First we had a hat party and I showed off a few lids from my collection.

And we even let grandma join in the fun too!And then we ate some good food.Mmmmmm.... mashed potatoes, turkey, gravy... how do I love thee?!?!?!Oooohh.. this looks good, I think I wash them taters down with some of this!

Next we ran a 5 mile race, decorated the Christmas tree and then came some more food!!

And of course I had to wash it all down again.Finally, we had a visit from the Jolly Red Fat Guy.

He told me that since I've been such a good boy he'd go on stage at the Davenport Festival of Trees and play Jingle Bell Rock in front of everybody, just for me!

Why do I get the feeling that I'll be telling my therapist about all this in the future?"

Cover Your Eyes

As the Big Turkey Day approaches it's hard not to be grateful for the freedoms that we enjoy as Americans. Our wonderful nation was founded by brilliant and inspired men. These brave men formed a system of checks and balances to ensure freedom and eliminate any possibility of tyranny and oppression. There is much to be admired and much we can learn from the study of our nation's history.
For example, a successful marriage must also have checks and balances to ensure equality and proper treatment of all family members. When these checks and balances disappear, disatrous consequences are imminent. I would like to cite a recent example as a case in point. Mom travels home with the little one to visit family, but dad can't make it. Mom decides to take pictures of little one. So far so good, but without the necessary and proper checks and balances things soon got out of hand.
Pictures start out like this...But somehow end up like this...
This is what happens when Daddy isn't around to keep Mommy in check. Let us not forget the innocent victim in this horrific tragedy. An unsuspecting little child, scarred for life by his own mother. A moment of silence, please...

La Vida Dulce

" It's a tough life... but hey, somebody's gotta do it"

Baby Got Soul

"You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain...

...too much love makes a man insane...

...you broke my will, but what a thrill...

Goodness, Gracious, Great Balls of Fire!!"

Just One Of Those Days

"Do you ever have those days where your brain seems to be off in La-La Land? You know, you're just going along with the flow and then you realize you were supposed to make that right turn about 5 miles ago? Being only 8 months old I thought I'd be immune to those things, but apparently not.

The other day I got all dressed up and ready to head out for a stroll. It was a nice enough day, but a little chilly out.

There I was minding my own business when suddenly I realized that I couldn't see anything anymore.

Silly me... where was my mind at??

So then, on a different day, mom and pops were tellin me about this crazy stuff called snow. I guess it's some magical white stuff that's cold and it falls from the sky or something like that. They say you can have lots'o'fun in it and make snowmen, snowwomen and even snowbabies. Of course I got all excited and wanted to go check it out right away. But in my haste, I forgot a few things...

OK, let's go see some snow!

Wait a minute... where are my pants? And shouldn't I be wearing some sort of a shirt?

Oh well, I guess I'll just make the best of this situation and play inside. Maybe next time, snow."

And just for the grandmas out there, here's some live action video for you to enjoy!!