Law enforcement is no simple task, that's for sure. But it's a necessary part of society, so somebody has got to do it. Inevitably, some people are just bad apples and the best you can hope is to have the long arm of the law constantly looking over the bad guy's shoulder to keep him in line. It's the sad truth about people, some of them just don't pay any respect to the rules. And when the bad guys get caught doing bad guy stuff you've got to make an example out of them to keep the streets safe for everyone else. "Excuse me sir... do you have a permit for that? If you can't prove you have an official Choo-Choo license I'm afraid I'm gonna have to take you down to the station for a little questioning."
Great idea, can I drive with my eyes closed?!
But then again, it's no fun being squeaky clean either!
Well, it's official the 2009 year has ended and 2010 is upon us already. Ought nine was a good year for our family as a lot of changes took place, and Ten looks like it's ready to bring more. As is tradition, we took a look back at the previous year to recall some of the challenges faced, obstacles overcome and fond memories created. While doing so it only seemed appropriate to hand out some end of the year awards where they are much deserved.
For the second time in three years Jacque took home the Big Belly Award. For most of the year it was a close call, but in the end she really left the competition in the dust. I did my best to try and keep up- but my best efforts came up short. I can only hope for next year...
Connor took home his first Little Man of the Year (this being the first time he was eligible for the entire year). The picture above was taken at a United Nations meeting in Norway where he gave a lecture on the declining status of the Apple Fritter in North America. It was a real tear jerker and by the end even the Russians were a little choked up. After his speech, he was asked by reporters if he had any plans to run for office in the near future which he neither confirmed nor denied.
It appears the real answer is the affirmative as he has already begun practicing on his "Million Dollar Smile".
Overall, The Nine was such a good year for the Young family we have decided to expand our borders and take on one more in The Ten. No officially date has been released for this new addition but we promise to keep everyone in the loop as the time arrives.
They say there's no more new ideas left in the world anymore, that everything is just a re-creation or mixing of ideas that have previously existed. According to "they", all the possibilities of the human mind have been exhausted and we're stuck with leftovers over and over again, but we don't really mind because we weren't there to see the ideas the first time around. I'm not sure if I believe what "they" say but "they" seems to be pretty smart, like some mysterious super computer full of all the answers in life. But I have to admit that "they" have a point because half the hit movies lately (Superman, Batman, X-Men, etc...) have all been reruns on existing ideas. However, having said that, "they" also say that the polar ice caps are melting and the only way to stop them from drowning half the world's population is by living more Earth friendly. While we're not going to rush out and buy a Prius, we still feel inclined to do our part to make this world a better place. So we have chosen to save the world through recycling by re-posting last year's Christmas Blog. Hey, if it was good the first time then it should still be good now, right? Apparently "they" are right again. There are no more new ideas. At least not for us right now.
Twas the night before Christmas and all thru the pad, not a creature was stirring, especially not dad. The stockings were hung by size on the wall, with mommy's the biggest and Little Man's quite small.
Connor was sleeping all snug in his crib, with leftovers from dinner still stuck in his bib. And mom in her jamies, and dad in his bedroom shoes, Had just settled down for a long winter's snooze.
When out on the roof there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window and thru the last door, I stubbed my poor toe from Connor's toys on the floor.
The moon shone brightly on the new fallen snow, while the warm Carolina wind continued to blow. I threw open the window (more utilities to pay), and saw eight reindeer and a shiny red sleigh.
With a fat, jolly man so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick. Faster than a speeding bullet his reindeer they came, built like 8 Clydesdales, only with antlers and no mane.
"Now Flirty, now Birdy, now Dirty and Nerdy, On Sturdy, on Turdy, on Wordy and Vinny Testaverde To the top of the Wal-Mart and onto the mall, Now dash away, dash away, dash away all!"
Then all of the sudden I heard on the roof, the banging and clanging of each massive hoof. I wrinkled my brow, my eyesight got hazy, and I started to think that I might be crazy.
Down the chimney he came in one large plop, and knocked o'er his cookies and even the mop. He was dressed in red velvet from his head to his foot, Armani, Versace, and not an ounce of soot.
A bag full of toys hung on his back, and he nibbled his cookies for a good night's snack. A snowy white beard touched his ample round gut, he looked like an O-lineman with a huge jolly butt.
"Don't tell Mrs. Claus about these cookies," he mumbled, "If she catches me again I'm sure to get pummeled. My cholesterol's 340, my blood pressure 205, but hey, I'm over 500 and I'm still alive!
She makes me eat carrots, celery and string beans, Boy, for an old lady she sure can be mean. But alas, the dawn breaks, my time is soon gone, besides my reindeer have eaten your lawn.
Remember this evening as a Christmas delight, Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!" Soon the season will pass, so enjoy all the sights of presents and family and Christmas tree lights. Sit back, take a moment and sip on some nog, While you finish reading this rerun holiday blog!
Being back out West, Little Man decided it was time to re-connect with his inner Californian. Of course, the only way that can happen is at the beach- so we headed there right away. It was a spectacular reunion for all to watch... "Oh delicious salty water with never-ending waves of awesome force and destruction- How I have missed you." For Connor, coming to the left beach is not a laughing matter; not even Grammie can disturb his unrelenting focus.
In all the blinding sunshine, Mom and Dad almost forgot that it's December already and Christmas is right around the corner. Dad had the great idea to take a pic with another left coast phenomenon- the beach sunset. However, the whole don't take a pic when facing the sun thing kinda lessened the effect so we had to change directions.
Not bad, and definately the way Christmas was intended to be... NO FREEZING and NO SNOW!!
Once we got rid of all the people the sun decided to cooperate with the camera again and looked a little something like this. Not a bad sight in your rear view mirror. Thanks for the memories Cali.
For the Big Turkey Day (aka- Pre Black Friday Push 'n' Shove) we decided to take a trip back to my old stompin' grounds. One of the first stops we made was to a special little place where some important stuff happened a little over 5 years ago. It was beautiful sunny day, and brought back some good ol' memories from times past.
Just for fun... here's a quick stroll down memory lane when we were still young and beautiful.
Five plus years and still runnin strong... Now that's something to be thankful for!!
"I want to start off by thanking all of my loyal fans... I recognize that due to business reasons I have been a little scarce lately, and for that I want to apologize. In all the hustle and bustle of life I have been neglecting my Twitter accounts, Facebook pages, Late Show appearances and I haven't even crashed any cars, made racially insensitive remarks, or checked into any rehab facilities to keep my name in the news. But all that's going to change because I realized today that it's time to get back to basics. Where would I be without my adoring public and paparazzi following my every move so the tabloids can keep my dearest and most loyal fans connected to even the most dull activities of my daily routine. Therefore, I have decided to take all of you with me on a very run of the mill and ordinary day. Welcome to my life... First thing in the morning I like to hike to the top of a nearby hill and scout out my objectives for the day. I never do the same thing twice-- I thrive on the challenge of living each day to the fullest!
I know my high rollin' ways and my haute couture fashion may give people the wrong idea about me... but trust me, I'm not afraid to get down and dirty if the situation requires it.
This was my first conquest of the day. It may not look like much, but you should see what's left of the barrel I rode in over the falls. You'd think wood would last better than that.
After the excitement of the falls, I decided to take a leisurely 112 mile ride down the river in a raft I constructed entirely out of pine needles and dead beatles. The first 90 miles were a cinch, but the bears kept trying to steal the fishes I caught with my bare hands. A few well placed strikes to the sniffer and they quickly realized who's in charge.
Next, I was able to travel back in time, before color was invented or even thought of, to hang out with some of the old-timers. It was a lot simpler life back then, that's for sure.
All that time travelin' took a lot out of me coming back through the space-time continuum so I decided to hop in my very own indoor swimming pool. But the hotel staff tried to make life difficult for me...
What do you mean this pool is only for big people??!! Don't you know who I am?!
Yep, that's right. The Little People always win. I celebrated my victory over the staff with a little show I like to call 'Buff Connor in the Buff'. The 2010 calendar will be ready soon.
Lastly, I decided to finish my day off the right way, with a little bit of catchin up on the sports scene and kickin back some of the finest imported Root Beer that money can buy. I know this kind of life isn't for everybody, but's it my kind of life.
Thanks for tuning in today. Stay tuned for next week as I explore the innermost workings of the human mind while scuba diving in a volcano full of hot lava."
After a week of moving, two weeks working and searching, and another week of studying and testing we decided it was time to take a break and head for the mountains. Of course, having been in Iowa for the past 3 years we had to take some time and fill in a few gaps for Little Man. We tried to explain the concept of a mountain, but it just didn't sink in. So we gave him a list of books to read by John Muir, and after finishing all 12, he was finally ready to experience- THE MOUNTAINS!! Needless to say, Little Man was quite over-joyed at finally encountering giant rocks sticking thousands of feet in the air. He realized his 21 months in Iowa left him unprepared to fully enjoy such a majestic and fantastic work of Mother Nature. At his request, we began a beginners mountaineering course with no time to waste. After a few trips to the ER, a slight concussion, and three dead squirrels... Connor was attacking the mountain like a man on a mission! Of course, climbing a mountain is only a small part of the experience. Little Man made sure not to miss out on anything by personally inspecting every tree, twig, leaf, bench, railing, passerby and trash can.
With his training coming along so smoothly, as parents we felt it was time to turn Connor loose and let him try a few obstacles on his own. The first obstacle was called "Mile High Bridge In 40 MPH wind". OK, so we fibbed a little, the wind was only blowing 35 MPH, but Little Man handled it with ease. At the top of the mountain, Connor insisted that I let him on my shoulders so he could be higher than anyone else there. After reaching the summit, Little Man decided to take some time to reflect on his accomplishments and perform an introspective analysis of his life. After several hours without moving a single muscle and with complete immersion in his thoughts he finally declared the day a success.
In the 6+ years that Jacque and I have known each other we have been fortunate to have seen some of the most beautiful views that mother nature has to offer: Virgin River Valley in Zions National Park ,UT... ...beaches on the right coast (Charleston, SC Isle of Palms)... ... and beaches on the left coast (Torrey Pines, CA)...
...mountains and oceans by sea (Prince William Sound, AK)...
... and mountains by air (Denali 20,320 ft. North Americas highest peak)...
...walking on glaciers (Denali State Park, AK)....
... and beautiful waterfalls (Juneau Falls, AK)...
... and even more beautiful waterfalls (Oregon)...
... panoramic views from tops of mountains (Mt. Timpanogos, UT 11,000+ ft)...
...and historic lighthouses (Cabrillo National Monument, Point Loma, CA)...
... and unique displays that only Mother Nature can create (Bryce Canyon National Park, UT)...
... even midnight suns (Anchorage, AK 12:01 am June 22)...
While all of those views and many more were wonderful and amazing each in their own way, there is one view that tops them all. There is nothing better than to come home after a long and busy day and see this...
Two weeks ago on a Saturday it snowed for about an hour in Iowa. That was just too much for the Little Man to take so he decided to head south, at least for the winter. While down south, he decided to check out this other whitish stuff that he's heard about but is not too familiar with. Here he is surveying this "warm white stuff". Of course, no survey is complete without a taste test. Turns out it's a little gritty to the taste but otherwise not bad. And as an added bonus, this new white stuff has walls of water that come chasing after you repeatedly. Little Man wasn't too sure what he thought about billions of gallons of foamy water hunting him down... but he's decided to keep an open mind about it!
Amongst all the packing, moving and many other changes that took place over the past several days Connor didn't seem to notice, or even care for that matter, until all his dreams came true in the form of a giant yellow truck... Little Man didn't waste any time becoming acquainted with every square inch of his newest best friend. "Look dad, only one hand. And who even cares if I can see over the wheel or not- I'm bigger than everyone else so they better stay outta my way!!"
For Little Man it seems like Halloween just can't come soon enough. So he decided to throw a little ghastly gross ghoul party to set the tone for the entire month of October. He dressed up as Connorsaurus the most viscious and terrible lizard to ever walk this or any other planet. The party seemed to be a great success. He was especially pleased when Payne Stewart came back from the dead just to attend his bash, although he seemed to be much smaller than Little Man remembered. Fortunately, Payne Stewart brought along a few friends, Dora the Explora and a very dissatisfied ladybug. You think you know how to party it up, you should see these crazy cats turn it loose!!
Every party has to have a centerpiece so Connor decided to create a life size replica of himself, only with a special Halloween twist. He was so proud of it he named it "Killer, Deranged Mutant Pumpkin Goon". The party-goers spent most of their time trying to bring it to life by having it struck by lightning... only the weather was less than helpful. Hopefully it doesn't come to life and try to attack any one, like the last time he tried something like this.
How would you like this to be the last thing you ever saw. Waaa HaaaHaaaHAAAAA!!!!
Don't you hate it when people have something really important to say but instead of just jumping right out and telling you they keep blabbering on and on about things that hardly seem to matter at all. It seems like they don't even care about everybody's time that they're wasting as they go off on these tangents that never go anywhere. And you never know if they're really being serious or if they're just trying to build the suspense higher and higher until weaker minds can't take it any longer and they scream out, "Enough already, just tell me!!" And then, just when you think they're gonna tell you and after it's been what seems like an eternity of waiting you finally reach the point that you've been eagerly waiting for and the only reason why you've even been talking to them in the first place. And then in that moment when you feel success is imminent and your goal is finally about to be reached- they make a sudden U-turn with their train of thought and keep going on about nothingness for no apparent reason at all. In completely unrelated news, we had our doctors appointment today (yes, THE doctor's appointment) where you finally get a chance to peek and uncover your surpise (just like peeking on your presents before Christmas). Sure it takes a little bit of the fun out of it, but who wants to be kept waiting in the dark all that time. Anyways, as I was saying, we had an ultrasound done today and we found out that we're having a.........................................................................
BABY!!!! We were so excited to finally have that confirmed, you never know with that whole Area 51 and Roswell, New Mexico stuff going around. But unfortunately Jax wasn't happy enough just that much information so she poked and prodded the poor ultra sound attendant until finally she caved in and went for a little game of peek-a-boo. After this exciting little game we found out that we're having......................................................................................................
a...................................................................................................................................................... GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yep that's right, we are eagerly awaiting the arrival of Cailyn Monique Sheniqua LaToya Matilda Edna Kerbopple Boquisha Bonnie Gertrude Young!!
Connor was so excited he decided to celebrate his new little sister by "borrowing" a cookie.
Recently, Jacque was was bitten by the sewing bug and it caused her to become delirious for 3 full days. While lacking her sanity, she decided to try making a quilt. For three long days she scurried around in the basement, only emerging to de-pressurize her bladder and sometimes to shower. During that time all I heard was the electronic hum of a sewing machine, a few power tools, an elephant, and a few loud thumps quickly followed by some choice words that I shall not repeat. And then finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the ordeal was over and Jacque emerged with her newest creation. Made from titanium fabric with carbon fiber threading, her quilt represents the newest technology available to stay-at-home moms and also doubles as bomb shelter in times of war. Connor wasn't entirely convinced so he decided to test firsthand the strength and integrity of mommy's latest creation. Sure enough, it not only withstood the highly scientific trample-on-top-of-a-pregnant-lady test, but it passed with flying colors. After seeing mommy's new creative capabilities and an old Macgyver rerun, Little Man decided to show off some of his own homemaking skills. In this episode he narrowly escapes starving for 3 days (while mom is in the basement battling her new sewing machine) by making loaves of bread out of oversized Lego blocks. Apparently the trick is getting the right mixture of red to yellow blocks... the other colors are just fillers.
"Mommy, have you been eating too much... your tummy is big and round like Santa Claus?"
"No, I don't need to join Weight Watchers. That's your little brother or sister in there!"
"You mean I get to be a big brother?!?! Sweet... think of all the cool tricks I'll be able to play.""Wait a minute... how the heck did it get inside there????"
"It snuck inside through my belly button, that's how all babies do it. Look, you have a belly button too!" "Holy cow! You're right, I do have one too!" "Having a baby isn't contagious is it??? I better check things out just to make sure!"
Last summer Usain Bolt astonished the world by breaking the world record in both the 100 and 200 meter dash. As a relatively new sprinter on the track and field scene, his tremendous speed has people asking how fast this guy really is. To the sports world he is considered unbeatable, the fastest person in the world. Or as Little Man says, the fastest person that the world knows about. What Usain Bolt doesn't know is that his super speed has placed an immense target on his back with everyone wanting to get the chance to beat him. Recently, Connor issued a challenge to race Usain Bolt... but so far he has declined the invitation. Little Man says it's because Usain knows he can't hang with the "Great Miniature White Hope". They thought the Titanic was unsinkable- and look how that turned out. In a bid to apply some pressure to Usain and his camp, Connor is now releasing never before seen footage of his sprinting regimen. Normally, he practices outside, but inclement weather forced this session indoors.
It was a sad day when we had to say goodbye to the truck (at least for two of us- Jacque has a heart of stone). This good ol' buddy got us everywhere we needed to be since 2003. Sure, it wasn't fancy, there was never any power steering, for a whole year a door chime would randomly start sounding at freeway speeds, and yes I had to scrape the inside and the outside of the windows all winter long... but this truck had character. And it was a part of the family- well almost (selling family members is kind of illegal, so we had to disown it before we could get rid of it). It will always be remembered- for the good times and the bad. Like when Jacque tried to borrow it when we were dating and she didn't know how to take the parking brake off so she blocked an entire city street (she was sideways across all the lanes) until she figured it out. Or when we would make midnight trips from Provo to San Diego and not be able to see out the windshield because of all the semi-trucks kicking up dirt and we had no windshield wiper fluid (the reservoir has a hole in it). Or the many curbs Jacque took her no power steering frustrations out on. Or sliding through an icy intersection nearly sideways because the light turned red too darn fast ( I hate it when that happens!). Yes, we have many fond memories of the truck... but alas that is all there is now. Memories.
Little Man was disappointed that he was losing his biggest Matchbox toy so we decided to take him somewhere to cheer him up a little bit.
Nothing like some good ol' John Deere tractors to boost his spirits.
Connor got straight to work inspecting even the finest of details. Experiences like this don't happen everyday (unless you live here of course).
By the end Little Man was back to himself once again. Truck.... what truck???
Did you know that the National Weather Service made a small but significant change to the way they report weather information? In order to achieve greater consistency they have decided to start naming earthquakes and tornados, just like they name hurricanes (you know- Katrina, Andrew, etc...). They feel that this will help them add a more human touch to the ravages of mother nature.
And speaking of Tornados, we were a little concerned before we moved to Iowa because we were told this area is part of "tornado alley". Well, we've been here for 3 years now and we haven't experienced any tornados yet so we thought we we're gonna escape without any funnel clouds of doom. But then yesterday happened...
We usually watch the news to stay up on the weather but somehow this one snuck up on us. And on top of that, it seems that this tornado managed only to damage the inside of one lowly little house. And as luck would have it- that lowly little house was our house. Have a look. And by some miraculous chance, what name do you think the National Weather Service issued this tornado???
People have got it all wrong these days. How the world can recognize junk like this as art is beyond me. Seriously, the world in general has lost its marbles and wouldn't know quality art if it flew down from the sky and hit people in the head. My dog could do better than this (metaphorically speaking because we don't currently have a dog, but if we did I assure you he would do better. And if he didn't, we'd probably get rid of him) Art should be something realistic, something that has meaning in your everyday life. For example, Jax made a cake for a baby shower last week and it turned out great. Look at the attention to detail, the flowers around the edges, and the blocks offering a visually stunning 3-D display. And on top of that, it tasted good too. Now that, is art! Imagine how much more fun it'd be to visit a museum where you got to eat everything afterwards instead of just staring at boring old pictures! Am I right, or am I right??
Personally, I don't consider myself much of an artist, but that doesn't mean I can't make a contribution to this world and help make it a better place. Therefore, my artistic legacy is a non-traditional piece I like to call the "Man Sandwich". Here it is below, pictured in all it's glory. 3 full pieces of bread donated themselves to this worthy cause, as well as some home-made strawberry jam and creamy peanut butter. The best part of this exhibit is found in the PB&J to bread ratio. A normal PB&J has a measely 2 slices of bread with one part PB and one part making a 1:1 ratio. But this monster has 3 slices of bread and 2.5 parts PB and 2.5 parts jelly creating an astounding 5:3 ratio with an 66% boost in flavor. Now that's taste-tastic!! Top it off with a frosty mug of ice-cold milk and you are having a great day, my friend!
Not to be overdone, Little Man has also interested himself in the arts. He says he's not ready to create just yet (besides in his diapers, but that's a whole different story) so he's happy just appreciating art right now. When we asked him what his favorite art medium was he immediately ran over without hesitation and grabbed his latest and greatest modern art magazine...
He spends hours everyday pouring over the latest and greatest details coming out of art factories all across the world: Italy, Japan, Germany to name a few. No detail escapes his well-trained eye as he satisfies his thirst for beautiful machines.
So what's his first collector's piece going to be??? The beautiful and stylish, yet sophisticated, Ferrari California. It's a wonderful Italian masterpeice that rivals the Sistine Chapel in it's hisorical importance!!
"Excuse me sir... do you have a permit for that? If you can't prove you have an official Choo-Choo license I'm afraid I'm gonna have to take you down to the station for a little questioning."
"Excuse me sir... do you have a permit for that? If you can't prove you have an official Choo-Choo license I'm afraid I'm gonna have to take you down to the station for a little questioning."
Great idea, can I drive with my eyes closed?!
