The High Life

"Oh, hello there... good to see you again. Sorry, I didn't recognize you at first, it's been awhile. I've just been so busy with everything going on- breakfasts in Paris, photo shoots in Milan, brunches in Miami with D Wade, Bron Bron and the Bosh, radio interviews with that creepy femmy Seacrest dude, and taping Dancing With the Stars- Baby Edition.

I tell you the summer has been hectic beyond belief, but I've finally found a few moments to myself. I've been working on my tan for the upcoming Transformers 3 movie and it seems to be coming along.

After Transformers 3, I'll be heading off to the Hamptons for a few weeks of R & R. They've got this cabana boy there named Jose that is absolutely to die for. So I've been working a new exercise routine to get my abs and legs in killer shape. Plus, I've been doing a little Zumba dancin on the side, you know, after I run 8 miles per day and perform circuit workouts with the Carolina Panthers at their training facility.

And just yesterday People mag called and wanted to do cover shoot plus featured interview on me. I think the happy smiling thing has been overdone so I'm going more for the pouty look. I try to stay ahead of all the current fashions and trends- I think this one is really gonna catch on. It's really not that hard to be a trend setter, let's be honest, if Lindsey Lohan, Brittney Spears and Kate Gosselin can do it then anyone can do it.

Well, that's all the time I have. Thanks for stopping by, it was nice to see you again. Just have my personal assistant show you out and tell her to throw in a few autographed copies of my latest book 5 Months and Counting- The Arianna Story. This was fun, we'll have to do this again sometime. Just have your peeps call my peeps and we'll meet up for sushi- I know a great little place in Shanghai!"