Worlds Strongest Baby Competition

Recently we've noticed some new behaviors that Connor seems to be acquiring. At first we were unsure of where these new skills were coming from, but after racking our brains we figured it out. Little Man has been staying up late a lot and watching TV. And of course in the twilight hours of the night there's nothing to watch on TV except for infomercials and the old 1970's World's Strongest Man Competitions on ESPN 2.

Perhaps his nickname of Little Man is making him a little self conscious- but Connor really seems to have taken a liking to the World's Strongest Man competitions. It's all he babbles about all day long. He even went online and found out that BALCO is sponsoring a World's Strongest Baby competition with the winner getting free "juice" until he turns 18. Of course that's quite the incentive so Little Man has already begun his training regimen and he now prefers to be called Magnus Ver Magnussconnor. So far his favorite event to train for is the atlas stone. In fact, hot off the press from Buff Baby magazine are some pictures from a few of his recent training sessions.
A good approach is crucial to a successful lift. Notice the focus in his eyes and the concentration on his face. This is a preparatory step to unleashing the fire within.In this one Magnus Ver Magnussconnor demonstrates the proper grip technique and back alignment. Since babies are made of rubber it is best to bend the spine as much as possible, much like bending a spring, so it can quickly snap back with ultimate force.This may only be a training session but that atlas stone weighs 37 kilos (392 pounds). Contestants must keep the atlas stone elevated above their head until the judge signals a complete lift. It's a grueling task at best, and one suited only for professionals.

Back On Track

We have had many questions over the past several weeks as to why we haven't updated our blog. Well, we want to clear the air and say that it had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that we did not have internet access for the past month. Truth is, Little Man decided he wanted to simplify his life. The pressure can really add up with all the paparazzi trailing him and the constant stream of pictures and stories showing up in the tabloids. Don't get us wrong, he enjoys the attention from his adoring fans but after seeing the Brittney Spears debacle Little Man thought it best to take some time away and out of the spotlight.

But where would he go and what would he do? Fortunately, Little Man just finished reading Henry David Thoreau's book about his experience living a simplified life in a cabin for two years. After Thoreau finished his time at Walden Pond he declared that mankind only needs 4 basic necessities to sustain life: Food, Clothing, Fuel and Shelter. Connor decided to replicate Thoreau's experience but he needed to gather his 4 basic supplies.

Food- "I think these should hold me over for at least a month or two."Clothing- "Clothes are overrated. Give me a hat and I'm good!"Fuel- "I'm not even sure what this stuff does but it sure tastes yummy!"Shelter- "Well this looks like a nice spot to get some peace and quiet."

With his preparations finally finished Little Man was ready to embark on his journey of solitude and simplified living. We closed the door on him with specific instructions not to open it for one whole month. A month later we opened the hatch to see how his quest for peace and contentment was going...

"Hey guys, got any more of those goldfish things... I'm gettin kinda hungry in here." With those words Little Man ended his remarkable journey of peace and self fulfillment. And now he is back in the spotlight for his adoring fans. Next week he starts his national tour promoting his new book 30 Days in a Maytag- Reflections on Life, Little People and Goldfish Crackers. It's sure to be a bestseller!

A Little Sunshine

After spending 3 winters here in Iowa I am beginning to understand why the Egyptians and many other civilizations became sun worshippers. It's seems so simple, but without the sun or any semblence of warmth, it's practically impossible to have fun. So all winter long you have to endure and save up all the fun you wish you were having and then just when you can't take it anymore and you're about to burst... then spring comes and the sun comes back with some cherished warmth and suddenly everything is ok again. I know it's not officially spring yet- but we're getting close, I can feel it!!

"Check out my new trick. I call it a Reversed Superman 540 Slide Maneuver with a twist!"


It's been a long winter... can you tell?

"Alright, who greased the slide again?"

Rock-Con-abration Birthday Blowout Bash

*PRESS RELEASE*
Connor and Rock would like to thank all of their adoring fans for attending their prestigious and once in a life-time, star-studded A-List party on Saturday night. The event was a complete sell-out with tickets so high in demand that we had to bring in extra help to handle the security detail. Fortunately, Optimus Prime was available and volunteered his services at no charge. No expenses were spared in preparing for this elite event. They even hired Duff from 'Ace of Cakes' on TV to make a special masterpiece cake shaped like a front-loader. Sweet! (No literally, it was loaded with sugar!)

The local zoo even helped pitch in by allowing some of their critters to come for the evening. Nothing says high class celebrity party like a giant ladybug!
"Ok people, who let the clown in here? Seriously, she's starting to freak us out. Optimus, get this thing outta here!!"After the clown issue was resolved it was time for the festivities to officially begin. First off, were the races.
Perhaps we should have explained to everyone what a race is first, and then had them compete.

The races were so popular even the old people wanted a chance to join in the fun!

Next came the flogging of Optimus Prime for letting that clown get into the party somehow. It's a mistake he'll never make again, that's for sure!

And finally, the grand event of the evening was the cake eating contest. Seeing how Connor is a cake-itarian he was better prepared for this event than he was for the races. And boy did it show!

Overall the event was a huge success! Thanks to all who came and we'll see you again next year at the Rock-Con-abration Part Deux!

Animated Adventures

"Pinky... are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"I think so Connor-Brain, but how are we going to get Arnold Swarchzenegger to autograph all those lollipops and where are we going to put all the leftover cheese, Narf!??"

"No Pinky, you idiot! We're going to do the same thing we always do."

"Egad, Connor-Brain, what's that!?"

"Try to take over the world!!!"

"Pinky, I have just discovered a most genius invention, the likes of which will allow us to conquer the world in no time at all."
"How's it work, Connor-Brain?"
"Simple enough that even you can do it Pinky. You simply stand behind here and push it like that. Here I'll show you how...

...with this diabolical machine nothing can stop us! There's isn't anywhere we can't go. Nothing is out of reach and everything and everyone will exist in a state of danger. With a machine as powerful as this there is no turning back. The world is at our finger tips at last!"

"Wa ha ha ha!!!!"

Sunny San Diego

A few days ago we were sittin at home just chillin with the Little Man when he turned to us and said,"Mom...dad... I'm tired of this cold and freezing weather. Let's get outta here and go somewhere warm and sunny, like California perhaps. Plus, Cali has really good Mexican food and they sell churros there." We had to admit, he sure put together a rock solid argument. We tried to find any flaws in his plan, but there wasn't any. California is warm and sunny. And it does have good Mexican food. So away we went!

Just for fun, we decided to invite all the cousins to come and play while we happened to be in Cali. It was good times for all.

Then we realized having 10 kids crammed inside a house was a bit overwhelming, so we decided to head outside for some sunshine and fun.

" Pucker up ladies... I'm still single now, but this item isn't gonna be on the market for too much longer! "
"Faster, mommy, faster!"
" I can see my house from here!!...Oh, wait a minute, that's just a tree. My bad. "
"Hey this spinny thing is kinda cool. I should kick him off and bring a date! Then when she's all woozy from spinning too fast she'll fall right into my arms."All the hard work at the park really burned some calories so we had to go home and refuel.

"Mmmmm... birthday cake......good!!!"
"Hey check it out, I look like my daddy now. I bet he wishes his goatee was made of chocolate yummi-ness."

Man Training

The off-season may have just begun but it's never too early to start getting ready for next season. To stay sharp on his skills, Little Man invited his buddy Parks over for a game of football.
"Red 69... blue 32... down... set... hut...hut... HIKE!!!"

"OK Connor, you go deep"

"Or maybe not so deep, dude where'd you go?"

"TOUCHDOWN!!"

Then it was off to the car show for a chance to get up close and personal with some sweet new machines.

"Sweet... let's go cruisin for some chicas!"

"Oooooooohhh........shiny!"

"She will be mine... oh yes, she will be mine!"

As Super As It Gets

With a little one it's always fun to see them grow and develop and hit all their "firsts"- first words, first step, first time falling down the stairs, first taste of chocolate ice cream and so on. Well Sunday was another of those incredibly important milestones in Little Man's life. It was his very first SuperBowl. As his mom and dad, we were very impressed with all of his hard work and dedication he put into this memorable day. He truly wanted to make it a special day."Rootbeer.... check. Remote controls.... check. 2 footballs.... check. Snacks.... check and double check!"

Although, as the game progressed, Little Man started to wear down and show the toll it was taking on his body.

"Uuuuggghhhhhh... I shouldn't have eaten those last couple of meatballs!"

The onslaught of delicious meatballs, smokies, ribs and chili-cheese nacho dip created a few items of business to take care of at the other end of the spectrum, if you know what I mean.

"Oh man, I think I'm gonna need lots of this stuff!" "Hmmmm... I think this should about do it."
"Whew, I'm glad I got that out of my system. I feel so much better now."

Tiger Training

"Hmmmm... maybe being a gym teacher isn't all it's cracked up to be. I'd better think of a new plan. Oh, wait a minute, I know what I can do. I'll major in Tigerology and be a tiger trainer for the circus or at some fancy Las Vegas hotel.

If you want to train a tiger first you must think and act like a tiger. You must become one with the tiger!

It's important that you let the tiger know who's the boss. There are several methods to assert your domination over him, but I prefer the ear hair hold. Those razor sharp claws and fangs are no match for a good ol' fashioned ear hair pulling.

Then, while he's withering in pain I jump on his back and wrestle him into submission... without releasing my grip. Man, this tiger stuff is a breeze!!"

*Disclaimer- Please do not try this at home. Tiger wrestling should only be performed by a certified and trained professional!

Major Studies

Now that I've been accepted to UNC I have so much more work to do. For instance, I now have to figure out where I want to live, what kind of car to drive and which lucky ladies get to change my diapers for me. And on top of all that, I've got to choose my major. First I was thinking about foodology, awesomeology and dinosaurology... but it just didn't feel right. Then I had the epiphany of all epiphanys that clearly showed the path I am to take.

With shorts like this there is only one option..... a high school gym teacher!!

I'll be Hittin' the Books Soon...

"Great news everybody, I sent in my application to the University of North Carolina about a month ago and today I got a letter back and.......... I'm IN!!! I knew I could do it, especially with all that time I spent watching Baby Eintstein videos.

Mom and the old man were pretty excited for me as well. They even took me out shopping to get my very first backpack. I'm not really sure what goes in a backpack yet, but I hear that chicks dig 'em! Man, all this school stuff makes me hungry. I wonder what this backpack thing tastes like??"

The Purpose of Snow

Now that we've gotten through the negative eleventy billion temperatures it's time to go have some fun. I knew there had to be some good purpose for all this white stuff we've been scraping off our cars.

Unfortunately, Little Man wasn't able to join us this time... he can't play in snow until his right ear doesn't look like Dumbo anymore. But that didn't stop him from trying... he got all ready to go outside in hopes that mom and dad would somehow forget about his ear thing and let him ride the slopes. Maybe next time, buddy!

Since he couldn't go play he decided to put on a piano concert for everyone. Little Man heard about Carnegie Hall and wanted to showcase his talents there for all the world to see, but then he found out were in Iowa and had to settle for our living room. We like to call these pieces Little Man's 1st Symphony and Bowel Movement

Little Man Remix

Just Like His Dad

OK, so true story here... when I was really little I can remember playing with the metal door-stoppers they put on the walls. I had one in my room that I used to pluck and just laugh and laugh. But deep inside I was always so confused. For the life of me, I could not figure out what it was for. All I knew was that if you pluck it then it made a farting noise, and let's be honest here, farting noises are ALWAYS funny. But that's where the confusion stepped in. I racked my poor little brain for hours and hours trying to figure out why adults placed little farting devices all over their houses. It just didn't make sense, adults were usually so boring and dull, they weren't even capable of doing something cool like putting little farting machines all over their houses. Or were they? I wanted to believe that adults really were cooler than they seemed, but there wasn't much evidence to back that theory up. Years later (sometime in my teenage years), I finally learned the truth that confirmed my suspicions- adults really aren't that cool and flexible door stoppers don't exist just to make farting noises. I was crushed.

Sadly now, I am one of those boring adults but the circle of life continues on now that I have a son. I came home the other day to see this...

I couldn't be more proud!!!!!!

New Years Resolutions

"Hey everyone, it's Little Man here. I just wanted to take a moment and let you in on some of the upcoming changes for '09. First off, after taking some serious time to do some deep reflection I realized that I spent far too much time asleep. There's a whole world of wonder and amazement out there and I've been missing it! So from now on, I have decided to veto any and all naps. In fact, I'm not going to sleep all the way through at night either! Whenever anyone tries to put me down and then they come back to check on me- this is how they're going to find me. Alert and oriented to EVERYthing going on around me. No sleep for me, that's my first resolution. For my second resolution I really have mommy to thank. She introduced me to a little slice of heaven called Chocolate Icecream. Let me tell you, it sure is good! So my other resolution for '09 is to eat only foods where chocolate is the major ingredient. No more strained squash and carrots for me. It's gonna be a sweet year in 2009!"

Party Like It's 2009

"Hey y'all here's some footage of me gettin jiggy wit' it way down south in good ol' Charleston on New Years Eve. I don't wanna brag or anything, but I showed this clip to Dancing With the Stars and I think they want me on next season's show. My peeps are still workin out all the details, so keep an eye out!"