The Next Generation

Livin' the Big Life

"Check this out. I was surfing the web the other day and I found out about this thing called soccer. Apparently, it's a pretty popular sport in lots of small countries around the world with weird names I can hardly pronounce. But while I was watching it I thought to myself... this doesn't look too hard. I bet I can learn some of those moves and then get paid lots of money and perhaps even become a national hero for some strange unnamed country.


I prefer to practice mostly naked because it eliminates distractions and helps me to focus and concentrate better on maneuvering around difficult obstacles.

Who knows... maybe I'll get so good that I get to start my own team and they'll let me choose the mascot. If that's the case then I'll pick a tiger wearing a hat. Sure, there's a couple of sports teams named the Tigers, but mine is wearing a hat. It's a fresh idea and it's never been done before so I think people are really gonna go crazy over it.

But if it doesn't work out then I choose whatever type of bird this thing is. He kinda looks like Toucan Sam from the Fruit Loops box, don't ya think?

Of course our uniforms would have to be bright yellow. With any luck we'll be able to blind our opponents and as they try to shield their eyes then we'll drive in and score. It's a sure fire plan that can't miss!

Sometimes I get a little worked up before the games and they have to lock me in a cage. Look at the fire in those eyes!
You wanna piece of this?!?! BRING IT!!

After the game I like to go for a ride in my new sports car- just to relax and calm things down a little. Plus, I find an open top car like this helps the fans to recognize me as I drive by. I usually just flash a smile and a little wave and they get pretty excited about it. It makes people feel good... and that's what I'm all about. It feels good to give back to the fans.



Finally, before the night is done and over I like to sit back and relax in my custom made chair. Yeah, it's a little big... but that's how I roll!"

Chug, chug, chug!!!

"Life here in Iowa can be a bit... shall we say bland... so I like to liven things up by enjoying some of life's greatest treasures. After all, it's the Little Things that matter most!

When one encounters one of life's treasures it is important not to squander the opportunity. That's why I like the savor my A&W Rootbeer Float with as many senses as possible. The aroma is part of the experience.

Here's a little lesson I picked up from Chief Sitting Bull- never let anything go to waste. There are still precious droplets of yum-tacular flavor located inside that straw and I'm gonna enjoy every one of them.

MMMMmmmmmmmm.... boy was that good! Who's ready for round two?"

Watch Out Martha Stewart

In seasons of tough economic times, such as we are now facing, most people want to pull back or run for safe shelter until the situation stabilizes. It's best to hunker down and wait until the storm is over, right? Wrong! At least that's what Little Man says. He has assured us that now is the time to be moving forward, to gain territory while others are retreating. There is no surrender or waiting it out, only pressing forward at full steam ahead.
The first step is to identify an open niche and then figure out how to exploit it. After much careful consideration Connor has figured it out. He has found his cash cow and is ready to start milking it for all its worth. The world of manners and niceties is a female dominated world... but not for much longer. Little Man plans to enter this open niche to bring some much needed testosterone to balance everything out. "Connor the Manners Man" is daring to go where no man has dared go before. Below is a sneak peak at the first video in his upcoming series due to be released next month.

Worlds Strongest Baby Competition

Recently we've noticed some new behaviors that Connor seems to be acquiring. At first we were unsure of where these new skills were coming from, but after racking our brains we figured it out. Little Man has been staying up late a lot and watching TV. And of course in the twilight hours of the night there's nothing to watch on TV except for infomercials and the old 1970's World's Strongest Man Competitions on ESPN 2.

Perhaps his nickname of Little Man is making him a little self conscious- but Connor really seems to have taken a liking to the World's Strongest Man competitions. It's all he babbles about all day long. He even went online and found out that BALCO is sponsoring a World's Strongest Baby competition with the winner getting free "juice" until he turns 18. Of course that's quite the incentive so Little Man has already begun his training regimen and he now prefers to be called Magnus Ver Magnussconnor. So far his favorite event to train for is the atlas stone. In fact, hot off the press from Buff Baby magazine are some pictures from a few of his recent training sessions.
A good approach is crucial to a successful lift. Notice the focus in his eyes and the concentration on his face. This is a preparatory step to unleashing the fire within.In this one Magnus Ver Magnussconnor demonstrates the proper grip technique and back alignment. Since babies are made of rubber it is best to bend the spine as much as possible, much like bending a spring, so it can quickly snap back with ultimate force.This may only be a training session but that atlas stone weighs 37 kilos (392 pounds). Contestants must keep the atlas stone elevated above their head until the judge signals a complete lift. It's a grueling task at best, and one suited only for professionals.

Back On Track

We have had many questions over the past several weeks as to why we haven't updated our blog. Well, we want to clear the air and say that it had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that we did not have internet access for the past month. Truth is, Little Man decided he wanted to simplify his life. The pressure can really add up with all the paparazzi trailing him and the constant stream of pictures and stories showing up in the tabloids. Don't get us wrong, he enjoys the attention from his adoring fans but after seeing the Brittney Spears debacle Little Man thought it best to take some time away and out of the spotlight.

But where would he go and what would he do? Fortunately, Little Man just finished reading Henry David Thoreau's book about his experience living a simplified life in a cabin for two years. After Thoreau finished his time at Walden Pond he declared that mankind only needs 4 basic necessities to sustain life: Food, Clothing, Fuel and Shelter. Connor decided to replicate Thoreau's experience but he needed to gather his 4 basic supplies.

Food- "I think these should hold me over for at least a month or two."Clothing- "Clothes are overrated. Give me a hat and I'm good!"Fuel- "I'm not even sure what this stuff does but it sure tastes yummy!"Shelter- "Well this looks like a nice spot to get some peace and quiet."

With his preparations finally finished Little Man was ready to embark on his journey of solitude and simplified living. We closed the door on him with specific instructions not to open it for one whole month. A month later we opened the hatch to see how his quest for peace and contentment was going...

"Hey guys, got any more of those goldfish things... I'm gettin kinda hungry in here." With those words Little Man ended his remarkable journey of peace and self fulfillment. And now he is back in the spotlight for his adoring fans. Next week he starts his national tour promoting his new book 30 Days in a Maytag- Reflections on Life, Little People and Goldfish Crackers. It's sure to be a bestseller!

A Little Sunshine

After spending 3 winters here in Iowa I am beginning to understand why the Egyptians and many other civilizations became sun worshippers. It's seems so simple, but without the sun or any semblence of warmth, it's practically impossible to have fun. So all winter long you have to endure and save up all the fun you wish you were having and then just when you can't take it anymore and you're about to burst... then spring comes and the sun comes back with some cherished warmth and suddenly everything is ok again. I know it's not officially spring yet- but we're getting close, I can feel it!!

"Check out my new trick. I call it a Reversed Superman 540 Slide Maneuver with a twist!"


It's been a long winter... can you tell?

"Alright, who greased the slide again?"

Rock-Con-abration Birthday Blowout Bash

*PRESS RELEASE*
Connor and Rock would like to thank all of their adoring fans for attending their prestigious and once in a life-time, star-studded A-List party on Saturday night. The event was a complete sell-out with tickets so high in demand that we had to bring in extra help to handle the security detail. Fortunately, Optimus Prime was available and volunteered his services at no charge. No expenses were spared in preparing for this elite event. They even hired Duff from 'Ace of Cakes' on TV to make a special masterpiece cake shaped like a front-loader. Sweet! (No literally, it was loaded with sugar!)

The local zoo even helped pitch in by allowing some of their critters to come for the evening. Nothing says high class celebrity party like a giant ladybug!
"Ok people, who let the clown in here? Seriously, she's starting to freak us out. Optimus, get this thing outta here!!"After the clown issue was resolved it was time for the festivities to officially begin. First off, were the races.
Perhaps we should have explained to everyone what a race is first, and then had them compete.

The races were so popular even the old people wanted a chance to join in the fun!

Next came the flogging of Optimus Prime for letting that clown get into the party somehow. It's a mistake he'll never make again, that's for sure!

And finally, the grand event of the evening was the cake eating contest. Seeing how Connor is a cake-itarian he was better prepared for this event than he was for the races. And boy did it show!

Overall the event was a huge success! Thanks to all who came and we'll see you again next year at the Rock-Con-abration Part Deux!

Animated Adventures

"Pinky... are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"I think so Connor-Brain, but how are we going to get Arnold Swarchzenegger to autograph all those lollipops and where are we going to put all the leftover cheese, Narf!??"

"No Pinky, you idiot! We're going to do the same thing we always do."

"Egad, Connor-Brain, what's that!?"

"Try to take over the world!!!"

"Pinky, I have just discovered a most genius invention, the likes of which will allow us to conquer the world in no time at all."
"How's it work, Connor-Brain?"
"Simple enough that even you can do it Pinky. You simply stand behind here and push it like that. Here I'll show you how...

...with this diabolical machine nothing can stop us! There's isn't anywhere we can't go. Nothing is out of reach and everything and everyone will exist in a state of danger. With a machine as powerful as this there is no turning back. The world is at our finger tips at last!"

"Wa ha ha ha!!!!"

Sunny San Diego

A few days ago we were sittin at home just chillin with the Little Man when he turned to us and said,"Mom...dad... I'm tired of this cold and freezing weather. Let's get outta here and go somewhere warm and sunny, like California perhaps. Plus, Cali has really good Mexican food and they sell churros there." We had to admit, he sure put together a rock solid argument. We tried to find any flaws in his plan, but there wasn't any. California is warm and sunny. And it does have good Mexican food. So away we went!

Just for fun, we decided to invite all the cousins to come and play while we happened to be in Cali. It was good times for all.

Then we realized having 10 kids crammed inside a house was a bit overwhelming, so we decided to head outside for some sunshine and fun.

" Pucker up ladies... I'm still single now, but this item isn't gonna be on the market for too much longer! "
"Faster, mommy, faster!"
" I can see my house from here!!...Oh, wait a minute, that's just a tree. My bad. "
"Hey this spinny thing is kinda cool. I should kick him off and bring a date! Then when she's all woozy from spinning too fast she'll fall right into my arms."All the hard work at the park really burned some calories so we had to go home and refuel.

"Mmmmm... birthday cake......good!!!"
"Hey check it out, I look like my daddy now. I bet he wishes his goatee was made of chocolate yummi-ness."

Man Training

The off-season may have just begun but it's never too early to start getting ready for next season. To stay sharp on his skills, Little Man invited his buddy Parks over for a game of football.
"Red 69... blue 32... down... set... hut...hut... HIKE!!!"

"OK Connor, you go deep"

"Or maybe not so deep, dude where'd you go?"

"TOUCHDOWN!!"

Then it was off to the car show for a chance to get up close and personal with some sweet new machines.

"Sweet... let's go cruisin for some chicas!"

"Oooooooohhh........shiny!"

"She will be mine... oh yes, she will be mine!"

As Super As It Gets

With a little one it's always fun to see them grow and develop and hit all their "firsts"- first words, first step, first time falling down the stairs, first taste of chocolate ice cream and so on. Well Sunday was another of those incredibly important milestones in Little Man's life. It was his very first SuperBowl. As his mom and dad, we were very impressed with all of his hard work and dedication he put into this memorable day. He truly wanted to make it a special day."Rootbeer.... check. Remote controls.... check. 2 footballs.... check. Snacks.... check and double check!"

Although, as the game progressed, Little Man started to wear down and show the toll it was taking on his body.

"Uuuuggghhhhhh... I shouldn't have eaten those last couple of meatballs!"

The onslaught of delicious meatballs, smokies, ribs and chili-cheese nacho dip created a few items of business to take care of at the other end of the spectrum, if you know what I mean.

"Oh man, I think I'm gonna need lots of this stuff!" "Hmmmm... I think this should about do it."
"Whew, I'm glad I got that out of my system. I feel so much better now."